"A Short Guide to Conscious Dating"
By Susie and Otto Collins, Relationship Coaches
If there's one complaint that people seem to have who are single and
out in the dating world, it's that they seem to have negative
dating
experiences. Many feel that dating isn't worth the effort and some
even have given up hope that they will ever find a
soul mate or
have a soul mate experience.
Since there is so much anguish around the whole dating
topic, it may
seem that the idea of dating to find that perfect partner just isn’t possible.
This does not have to be the case.
Through working with many single people in our relationship
coaching
practice who want better dating experiences, we have identified five
ways to date consciously and have better dating experiences.
With that being said, here are your five dating tips:
1. Don’t start dating someone with idea that you are going
to have
instant romance and be
romantic with the person. Take the time to
get to know them, establish
relationship trust and connect with them
as a person.
When or if the relationship moves into
love making, it will be a lot more
satisfying to both partners if there is a connection beforehand. In some
cases, there is
flirting and then the two people move into love making
immediately. From what we have heard from our single clients, their
experience would improve if they would focus on building their
relationship instead of looking outward for the attention and love
that they aren’t getting. Your dating experience and your connection
will be much richer and deeper if you do.
2. There are many
relationship challenges that keep couples from coming
together and making a connection on a date. These challenges to love can
come from the past and many people don’t have any idea how to make their
new relationships better. It’s important to heal from past relationships before
you start dating by taking the time to figure out what went wrong and what
your part was in the
break up. That’s not to say that you blame yourself but
rather you learn from the experience so that you won’t carry it into a new
relationship.
3. If you had
jealousy issues in your previous relationship, you need to learn
how to
overcome jealousy before you begin dating and move on to a new
relationship. Many people believe that the problem will just fix itself but what
we have found is that jealousy doesn’t fix itself. It shows up in new
relationships
over and over again until it’s dealt with and healed.
4. A big dating challenge centers around
infidelity. This usually happens when
there is no clear, stated agreement between the two people about whether they
are monogamous or not. One or both people may have had affairs in their past
relationships and those relationships may have ended in
divorce. If their agreements
are unclear in a new relationship, they may repeat the pattern which usually
ends
the new relationship as well. Make sure you talk about this issue and put all
of
your cards on the table.
5. Make sure that you present yourself as you truly are
without acting from who
you think your date wants you to be. You will never be successful in
relationships
unless you act from a place of authenticity and speak from who you truly are.
If you follow these ideas, you will not only have better
dates but you will increase
personal growth. We are giving this
free love advice and free relationship advice
in the hope that you will have more successful, satisfying dates and
relationships in
the future.
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